Monday, May 28, 2007
What Tree Did You Fall From?
Find your birthday and its corresponding tree.
Then, see the meaning behind it below. Do you recognize yourself?
| Dec 23 to Jan 01 | Apple Tree |
| Jan 02 to Jan 11 | Fir Tree |
| Jan 12 to Jan 24 | Elm Tree |
| Jan 25 to Feb 03 | Cypress Tree |
| Feb 04 to Feb 08 | Poplar Tree |
| Feb 09 to Feb 18 | Cedar Tree |
| Feb 19 to Feb 28 | Pine Tree |
| Mar 01 to Mar 10 | Weeping Willow Tree |
| Mar 11 to Mar 20 | Lime Tree |
| Mar 21 | Oak Tree |
| Mar 22 to Mar 31 | Hazelnut Tree |
| Apr 01 to Apr 10 | Rowan Tree |
| Apr 11 to Apr 20 | Maple Tree |
| Apr 21 to Apr 30 | Walnut Tree |
| May 01 to May 14 | Poplar Tree |
| May 15 to May 24 | Chestnut Tree |
| May 25 to Jun 03 | Ash Tree |
| Jun 04 to Jun 13 | Hornbeam Tree |
| Jun 14 to Jun 23 | Fig Tree |
| Jun 24 | Birch Tree |
| Jun 25 to Jul 04 | Apple Tree |
| Jul 05 to Jul 14 | Fir Tree |
| Jul 15 to Jul 25 | Elm Tree |
| Jul 26 to Aug 04 | Cypress Tree |
| Aug 05 to Aug 13 | Poplar Tree |
| Aug 14 to Aug 23 | Cedar Tree |
| Aug 24 to Sep 02 | Pine Tree |
| Sep 03 to Sep 12 | Weeping Willow Tree |
| Sep 13 to Sep 22 | Lime Tree |
| Sep 23 | Olive Tree |
| Sep 24 to Oct 03 | Hazelnut Tree |
| Oct 04 to Oct 13 | Rowan Tree |
| Oct 14 to Oct 23 | Maple Tree |
| Oct 24 to Nov 11 | Walnut Tree |
| Nov 12 to Nov 21 | Chestnut Tree |
| Nov 22 to Dec 01 | Ash Tree |
| Dec 02 to Dec 11 | Hornbeam Tree |
| Dec 12 to Dec 21 | Fig Tree |
| Dec 22 | Beech Tree |
APPLE TREE (the Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.
ASH TREE (the Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.
BEECH TREE (the Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)
BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.
CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) - of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.
CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.
ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
FIG TREE (the Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed, independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.
FIR TREE (the Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontented lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.
HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgement in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
LIME TREE (the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.
MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) - no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
OAK TREE (the Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.
OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
PINE TREE (the Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
WALNUT TREE (the Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Twenty Retention Tools For Curbing Attrition
In today's scenario ATTRITION has become the most dangerous alarm to all HR employees' ears and Organization is facing troubles to fight it out. Suggested Retention Tools for curbing attrition to a great extent are submitted herewith. These need not be brainstormed and implementation strategy should be worked out immediately.
1.OFFER COMPENSATION – ATTRACTIVE AND COMPETITIVE: Fair compensation alone does not guarantee employee loyalty, but offering below-market salaries makes it much more likely that employees will look for greener pastures.
To benefit both company and employees, tie increased one time performance pay to meeting specific goals aligned with business objectives.
Collect data from exit interviews to document trends from your departing employees, and then use this data to make a business case for increasing salaries across the board.
Go for Employee Engagement Surveys / ESS, to find out what perks, benefits and forms of compensation other than money will help keep them motivated.
Let employees decide their own compensation package / reimbursements once the quantum is fixed.
Pay Exception is a procedure at FedEx, which allows managers to recommend and give exceptional pay increases to their highly performing employees when it is not covered by normal policy. Extensive performance measuring scheme and incentive policies by Sasken Communications , Awards and recognition like "Best project" , "contribution", "mentorship" by Aztec Software and Formal Individual / group recognition at departmental / organization levels by Intel Technologies India Pvt Ltd are few outstanding examples. *
2.BENEFITS NEED TO BE QUANTIFIED AND QUALITATIVE. Although benefits are not a key reason why employees stick with a company, the benefits you offer can't be markedly worse than those offered by your competitors and like minded industries.
Group Medi-claim Insurance Scheme and Personal Health Care (Regular medical check-ups)
Corporate Credit Cards and Discount Coupons
Cellular Phone / Laptop and other latest technology on-board
I nterest free loans for higher educations
Performance based quarterly incentives
Flexi-time and Flexible Salary Benefits
Wedding Day and Birthday Gift
3.TRAIN YOUR FRONT-LINE, MANAGERS AND ADMINISTRATORS. It can't be said repeatedly that people stay or leave because of their bosses and not the companies. Make sure your managers aren't driving technologists away. Harp upon the competencies and substantially invest in human capital irrespective of ROI.
Improve managers' leadership, communication and interpersonal skills through coaching, training and feedback. Rate these key skills in their evaluations, and tie compensation to performance.
Create a safe environment and process for employees to bring up concerns with their managers.
In Whirlpool Appliances , there are highly selective leadership development mentor programs. Managers selected to participate as mentors go through a rigorous selection process and are then monitored closely to ensure that only managers who consistently produce results remain in the program. *
4.ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES NEEDS TO BE DOVETAILED. Make sure your employees know what is expected of them every day, every month and every year, what types of decisions they are allowed to make on their own, and to whom they are supposed to report.
Provide clear vision, brawny and consistent communication, teamwork and respect for human capital' efforts.
Share the company vision/mission clearly and regularly.
Collaborate, communicate and listen. Contented employees achieve amazing things.
Eli Lilly & Co.(
5.ENHANCEMENT, ADVANCEMENT AND PROGRESSION OPPORTUNITIES. To foster employee loyalty, implement a career ladder and make sure employees know what they must do to earn and go in for progression. A clear professional development plan gives employees an incentive to stick around. Do away with you Performance Management System if it has turned to NOVA (Non Value Added Activity) and go in for instant performance rewards. Think! Think out of the box!
Assess employee's performance against the focus area's set in their performance agreement for the appraisal year and improves their proficiency.
Provide an opportunity to the employees to express their views or to seek further clarification on their performance.
Identify potential of employees and to develop them for future roles.
Reward them appropriately.
Generate data for career planning and succession planning.
Computer Sciences Corporation India (P) Ltd in the sabbatical policy, not only does the Company pays for the fees of higher qualifications being acquired by any employee, any break in service for acquiring higher qualifications is treated as work experience for the purpose of determining seniority within the Organisation, and there is an assured job for the employees after completion of his/her course. *
6.OFFER RETENTION BONUS: Employee longevity typically is rewarded with an annual raise and mandatory vacation time after three, five or ten years. But why not offer other seniority-based rewards such as a paid membership in the employee's professional association after one year, a paid membership to a local gymnasium and clubs after two years, and full reimbursement for the cost of the employee's formal dress.
Build a high degree of recognition value into every reward you offer. Reduce entitlements and link as many rewards as possible to performance.
Troubleshoot your reward system to make sure that what it is rewarding is what you really want to happen.
Give employees a choice of rewards.
Increase the longevity of your rewards
Intel Technologies has cash bonus plans and performance based bonuses for employees.
7.RETENTION STRATEGIES IMPLEMENTATION NEEDS TO HAVE A PROCESS OWNER: Measure your turnover rate and identify a process owner responsible for containing it. If customer returns, in-house rejections and non-confirming products can have a process owner as a countermeasure why not a process owner for implementation of retention strategies? Think better, think bigger, think brighter, think broader, think bolder, think positive and set higher audacious goals.
The ability of the employee to speak his or her mind freely within the organization is another key factor in employee retention. If so, employees offer ideas, feel free to criticize and commit to continuous improvement. If not, they bite their tongues or find themselves constantly "in trouble" - until they leave. *
8.GO IN FOR EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT PRACTICES: You won't know what's wrong... or what's right … unless you practice. To check the pulse of your organization, conduct employee satisfaction surveys on a regular basis. Go in for its analysis and implementation.
One idea: Ask employees what they want more of and what they want less of – Capture Voice of Employees
Value addition in terms of ASKPT (Attitude, Skills, Knowledge, Practices, and Trust) has to be the end product.
Stay Interviews and its implementation, call back your employees and ensure ombudsmen concept.
From the very beginning, Mindtree Consulting has been active in its social responsibilities. Infact, MindTree has identified social responsibility as one of its core values and therefore, regularly encourages it in the organization. It has adopted an old age home and a home for children of Sri Lankan refugees in
9.TEAMWORK AND CROSS FUNCTIONAL TEAMS: It takes effort to build an effective team, but the result is greater productivity, better use of resources, improved customer service and increased morale. Give great emphasis on cross functional approach as it endorses acceptance and accountability.
Make sure everyone understands the department's purpose, mission or goal.
Encourage discussion, participation and the sharing of ideas.
Rotate leadership responsibilities depending on your employees' abilities and the needs of the team.
Involve employees in decisions; ask them to help make decisions through consensus and collaboration.
Encourage team members to show appreciation to their colleagues for superior performance or achievement.
Sapient Corporation has a practice known as "Team Storming". When a team (project team or an internal team) has worked very hard, teams from across the office get together and storm the team with a 'goodies' basket to recognize the team and lift their morale. *
10.PAPERLESS ORGANIZATION: If your high performers and technologists spend nearly as much time filling out paperwork, it's time for a change. Convert paperwork to an electronic format; and hire non- tech administrative staff to take over as much of the paperwork burden as is allowed under legal or regulatory restrictions
Intranet facility
Centralized servers for data storage
11.FUN IS MUST. Celebrate successes and recognize when milestones are reached. Buffet lunches, birthday parties, employee picnics and creative contests will help remind people why an organization is a great place to work.
The companies organizes cultural program as and when possible but most of the times, once in a quarter, in which all the employees are given an opportunity to display their talents in dramatics, singing, acting, dancing and sports programs such as Cricket, football, etc
Fun elements at work like Parties, bashes, outings, picnics at Aztec Software & Technology Services Ltd and De-motivation to work on holidays by Phillips
12.
A place where people work with a smile on their faces and dreams in their eyes
A place where your views can be freely voiced and are received with an open mind
A place where you know whenever you need help, there is a family of 2000 members waiting to help you out
13.ASSIGNMENTS FOR JOB ENRICHMENT: Identify your employees' talents and then encourage them to stretch their abilities into new areas. You have to have a great mentor or mentors. A variety of challenging assignments helps keep the organization stimulating. Lay emphasis on stretch Key Result Areas.
Employees today want more than just a job. They want to contribute to the big picture and help the company sustain it through the tough times. Provide challenging and meaningful work assignments that stimulate them.
When employees feel bored, their motivation declines and they lose focus on how their work fits into the big picture.
Delegate meaningful work whenever possible so employees can learn something new and feel challenged. Additionally, provide regular development and learning opportunities.
Johnson & Johnson conducts a Strategic Roadmap Meeting which is a large-scale interactive process (LSIP) of communicating with employees and getting their buy-in on the strategic goals set by the company. This is a theme based motivational event.
14.TRANSPARENCY IN COMMUNICATION. Employees are more loyal to a company when they believe management or those at the helm of affairs keep them informed about key issues
Communication is the first step toward creating the kind of environment that people care about, and if they care, they just may stay, keep your people in the loop about what's happening with the company.
At any time, all of your employees should have a pretty good idea of how business has been carried out.
They should be aware of what issues the company is attempting to address.
Everyone from new recruit to CEO is treated as same in Nokia. Everyone flies the business class and everyone stays in luxury hotels. *
15. ENCOURAGE HIGHER LEARNING. Create opportunities for your key performers and technologists to grow and learn. Encourage every employee to learn at least one new thing every week, and you'll create a work force that is excited, motivated and committed.
To keep morale high, coach and facilitate every day.
The "I tell/you do" method of management simply does not work for motivating and retaining people. Instead, become a coach to your people and encourage them to try things their own way.
Allow for mistakes to happen, as mistakes are often our greatest learning opportunities.
Most people are grateful for constructive feedback. It shows that you're paying attention to their progress
FedEx has Personality Development Systems, amount of 3000 $ annually as education reimbursement and an Online training library with 600 courses. *
16.FLEXIBILITY AND PRAGMATISM: Employees will be loyal to organizations that make their lives more convenient by offering on-site childcare centers, on-site hair styling and dry cleaning, flexible work hours, part-time positions, job-sharing or involving spouses in CSR activities and promote ownership culture.
Employees of school-age children might appreciate the option to work nine months a year and have the summers off to be with their children.
17. DEVELOP AN EFFECTIVE INDUCTION PROGRAM. Implement a formal orientation program that's at least three weeks long and includes a thorough overview of every area of your department and an introduction to other departments.
Infosys has a 23 days Induction Program with ISB Bangalore *
Sona Group has tied up with MDI Gurgaon for one month Induction Program
18.WORKPLACE AMBIENCE. No one wants to work with equipment that's old or constantly breaking down. Provide employees with the highest quality supplies you can afford. Cheap, leaky pens may seem like a small thing, but they can add to employees' overall stress level.
A career-oriented, valued employee must experience growth opportunities within your organization.
19. NEVER, NEVER, EVER THREATEN AN EMPLOYEE'S JOB OR INCOME. Even if you know layoffs loom if you fail to meet targets, it is a mistake to foreshadow this information with employees. It makes them nervous; no matter how you explain the information, even if you're absolutely correct, your employees will update their resumes
Demonstrate a vibrant workplace that retains and promotes talents and at the same time encourages development of non-performers to perform better and dissuade pink slips
20. VALUE YOUR EMPLOYEES. Recognize outstanding achievements promptly and publicly, but also take time to commend on the many small contributions your staff makes every day to the organization's vision, mission and growth. DO NOT FORGET — THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD!
A commonplace complaint we hear during an exit interview is that the employee never felt senior managers knew he existed.
Take time to meet with new employees to learn about their talents, abilities and skills. Meet with each employee periodically.
It is not unusual for one to find the CEO of Godrej Consumer Products Ltd. having lunch with employees everyday, or for the CEO and HR head of Wipro Spectramind to have open doors for employees at all times *
References
* Business world- Grow Talent list of Great Places to Work® 2 nd Edition brochure for application, May 2006 and excerpts from 2007 Great Place to Work® Institute website retreived on March 23rd ,2007,at http://www.greatplacetowork.com/gptw/index.php
· THE AUTHORS
MR. HARI NAIR, a young Post Graduate in Public, Personnel Management & Industrial Relations from
MR. ABHISHEK GAVANE, a young scholar Mechanical Engineer with PGDBM (HR) and having an year round of thorough experience at Management cadre in Sona Koyo Steering Systems Ltd, Gurgaon, functioning in Strategic HR cascading OD Interventions, Technical recruitments, Blue Ocean Initiatives for Employer Branding and Competency mapping. Can be reached by e-mail abhishek.gavane@sonagroup.com or abhishekgavane@gmail.com or on his Mobile No. +91-98-913-65444
MS. PRIYANKA PRIYADARSHNI, a Young computer graduate and MBA with Core Competency in Human Resources, just commenced the Career matrix with Hotel Clarks Amer-Jaipur as Executive – Human Resources and is handling a Generalist Profile including Training and Development & cascading best of the HR practices through practicing the HR concepts for transformation of any workplace. Can be reached on e-mail on mailpriyankain@yahoo.com and on her mobile No. +91-94-138-42848
Friday, May 25, 2007
Google Talk Smileys Update
You can now choose from a wider range of emoticons in the Google Talk gadget, the Flash-based gadget launchable in a new browser window, or embeddable on iGoogle and elsewhere. Just click the smiley picker at the bottom right of the Google Talk gadget to get an impression of what’s available now (there’s 35 smileys and icons all in all, from devil to broken heart to crying and shock). Google offers three basic sets: animated yellow round smileys, animated yellow square smileys, and static black & white smileys (all smileys show a rotation animation though, turning from an ASCII smiley into an image).
The only minor problem 
(or benefit 
, depending on your point of view): your chat partner may not see the images you’re sending if they’re using a different instant messenger (like cross-IM Miranda), but get ASCII instead – somewhat similar to Skype, Google Talk just automatically “skins” the text-based emoticons to look like your preference.
Motorola Gets Patent For Sun-Powered Mobile Phone
Are cell phone users ready to take their handsets outside and soak up the sun?
Motorola has been awarded a patent for technology the company says will make it possible to recharge the battery of mobile phones through solar cells embedded within the liquid crystal display.
The idea is not new, but Motorola claims in the patent that it has solved the problem of getting enough light to the solar cells to recharge the battery.
If Motorola were to successfully go to market with such a product, then the company would effectively eliminate the need to recharge a cellular phone's battery through a separate transformer that plugs into an electrical socket. The phone would always be charged.
Motorola believes it can get 75% or more of the light entering through the front of an LCD to the solar cell by using a different type of liquid crystal. By switching from nematic crystals to cholesteric or polymer disbursed, Motorola says it can eliminate the use of a metallic reflector that's used in LCDs to illuminate the screen. The use of such reflectors reduces the amount of light that could reach a solar cell to less than 6%, which is insufficient to recharge the battery.
While technologies addressing the problem have been patented before, Motorola's invention is a "more commercially acceptable solution," the company said in the patent.
"Relatively ordinary and cost-effective liquid crystal display technologies can now be utilized successfully to provide an acceptable display and nevertheless provide an acceptable level of light to a stacked solar cell," the company said.
The patent appears to have been awarded last month. Motorola was unavailable for comment. Solar cells are used today to power very low-power electronic gadgets, such as calculators.
Original Post
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Collection of famous quotes by Navjot Singh Sidhu
- That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
- There is light at the end of the tunnel for India , but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over.
- Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
- This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados ."Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope."
- Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taximeter.
- Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
- Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!
- He is like Indian three-wheeler, which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
- The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world, which does not have wings!
- As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
- The ball whizzes past like a bumble -bee and the Indians are in the sea.
- The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin a haystack.
- The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
- Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
- The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala one falls and everything else falls!
- Indian team without Sachin is like giving Kiss without a Squeeze.
- You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
- Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goalkeeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
- He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
- One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
- This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul 'NOT OUT' in the second test at Port of Spain T&T "Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands."
- Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
- Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
- You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
- The cat with gloves catches no mice.
- Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
- You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
- He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
- The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
- Kumble's bowling at the moment is flat as a Dosa
Dedicated to alll the nagging girls
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly
her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE
SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving.
her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE
SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving.
Friday, May 18, 2007
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