Eight Gifts That Don't Cost a Cent

This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your relationships.

The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, and don't plan your response. Just listen.

The Gift of Affection

Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

The Gift of Laughter

Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

The Gift of a Favour
Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind.

The Gift of a Written Note
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.

Funny Quotes and Thoughts

" Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark."

"Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf."

"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."

"Love is so confusing -  you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do?Turn out the lights! "

"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."

"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. "

Celebrity Caricature - Best of the Best

16 Things It Takes You A Lifetime To Learn

   1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
       on the same night.

   2. If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race
       has not achieved and never will achieve, in its full potential, that
       word would be "meetings."

   3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

   4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
       want you to share yours with them.

   5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

   6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

   7. Never lick a steak knife.

   8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

   9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
       compelling reason why we observe Daylight Savings Time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests 
      that you think she's pregnant, unless you can see an actual baby emerging
      from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to 
      make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
       religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down
       inside, we ALL believe that we are "above average" drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.
      (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
       built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine...they start out as grapes,
       and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they
       turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

  FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
  There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
  Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large
  elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no
  recollection of what to do with them!